Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize