sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
