thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We have so much sex to catch up on
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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