yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
