how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
