**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
