Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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