how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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