...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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