I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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