what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
