I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
