I feel great
I just peed on a car
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
