i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
