I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
