If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
