Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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