Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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