Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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