me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
