Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
