Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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