Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
