So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
