I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
