dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
