please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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