If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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