dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
