Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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