Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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