Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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