Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
