i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
