Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
