yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
