I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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