I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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