I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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