i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
