It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
