i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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