So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
