so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
