so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
