Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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