I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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