i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
