I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
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