I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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