She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
