Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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