so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
