when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Please don't give away my fajitas
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
