Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
