buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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