Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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