shes about as inviting as chlamydia
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
