cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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