we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
