'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize