Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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