Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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