if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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