the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
